When I first started exploring poly, my relationships consisted of my partner, myself, and another female. In my mind that was the only combination--it wasn't that I was closed
to others, I just was so busy looking at my life, and my situation, that I didn't really think about other possibilities. To me, this triangle was poly.

At that time my poly community was also pretty small, so there weren't a whole lot of different
relationship structures from which I could learn. Every poly relationship I knew was the man with his two women, and in all of those relationships it seemed as if the women were also involved to some degree, though their main relationship was always with the man. It was somewhat like a triangle with two solid sides and one dotted line between the women.

Then I had arelationship that caused me to start really looking at the all of the many, many varieties of poly that are out there. In that relationship it was myself, my partner, and his other girlfriend, but she and I had no real emotional or sexual connection—so now instead of a triangle I had a V. I didn't go into that relationship expecting a triangle (hell, I barely went into it expecting a relationship), but when she and I did meet I had to do some mental adjusting
when I realized that for the first time I would not be involved sexually with my partner's other partner. It was a quick adjustment, however, and I was happy being one of the points on his V, though I knew that at some point it would not be enough.

Then, I went into an entirely different poly situation and I had do some more adjusting. I found
myself once again in a triangle, but in this relationship I was the girlfriend to an engaged couple. It started as a connection with him, but then I was as equally her girlfriend as I was his, so I am not entirely sure what this triangle looked like--a solid line between the two of them, certainly, and maybe lighter solid lines between me and both of them.

And now, I live in a polycule with my nesting partner and his girlfriend. She and I are not
involved, but she has others that she plays with, he has others that he plays with, and, for the first time in quite a while, I am moving in that direction as well.

This has really gotten me thinking about what poly is to me, and how I want it to manifest in
my life. I realize that what I want is a combination of all of these relationships. I know that a closed triangle is not what I want, and I don't just want to be a point on a V with no other relationships, but beyond that I am open. I don't have a perfect poly family type in mind, but my family is growing and I don't want to put limits on that growth. All I know at this point
is that I want to share love, and energy, and sex, and life with people who make me happy, regardless of what shape the relationships eventually take.